I just finished watching ‘Miss Austen Regrets’ on PBS, because somehow I let myself begin watching Jane Austen Masterpieces on PBS. And, against my mother’s wishes, watched the depressing movie on Jane Austen, the lady who could “write the recipe book but couldn’t cook”. I told my mom that watching the movie would be like looking into an all-knowing crystal ball of my life (all brilliant writing out of the question, almost). This prediction was met with a ‘No’ that was meant to reassure me, which did not, of course. Oh, I did enjoy that movie as much as anyone could. I wonder why. (Rhetorical question, thankyouverymuch.)
This past week has been the best week I’ve had in I don’t know how long! I honestly have no clue why. It could be the chemicals finally working together instead of against each other—if it is even to be blamed on ‘them’. It has given me hope and a reason to have a more hopeful outlook on things. Before, and it could and most likely will happen again (to be realistic), nothing really gave me an honest amount of hope. It was fairly impossible. No matter how hard I tried to truly believe Jeremiah 29:11, there was always a voice in the back of my head saying, “Maybe for some, but not for you. It just does not happen for some. Anyone who thinks otherwise is a fool.” And that voice isn’t completely gone, but I’m at least looking forward to things of the future…
This morning I woke up and for a few seconds thought my dizziness was gone! Of course, that all changed once I shuffled off my dreams and sleepiness, but still. Today has, however, been one of the better days dizzy-wise. The first in MONTHS! ‘Tis a dream…
There is still the lingering-ons of sadness that constantly threaten to rain on my parade. Umbrella, anyone? Oh, because here comes the rain…
Oh, and I found something to read! I can’t believe I forgot about it—this is what happens when I lose things under my bed! —Forgive me!
